Going Gray

Cheers to gray hair in France!

Deciding whether or not to officially go gray was a very difficult choice for me. If we rewind to 2018, when I first started to consider what going gray would mean for me and how I’d look towards the end of the process, I went back and forth a lot.

My first gray streaks actually appeared when I was 17 years old, so I was already dying my hair every six weeks by the age of 22. By the time I hit 39, I was tired of it. I started to consider the notion of “no more dye,” and started a Pinterest board titled “Going Gray.” Then, I went to semi permanent dye. Haha.

I was still having to touch up my roots every two weeks, and always had to seemingly part my hair different ways to cover the grey. I wrestled with my final choice for a couple more years—I felt like I would be judged by others, or looked down on by society. I was afraid that I’d look older than my actual age of 41, at the time.

Then, the pandemic hit. I discovered the hashtag “grombe” from a friend, who told me to look it up on Instagram. It was picture after picture of beautiful women—of all ages—letting their hair go gray and sharing their inspiring stories along the way. Scrolling through their images inspired me more than any Pinterest board ever could. I thought to myself: “I can do this. I want to do this!” (with that being said, I still dyed my hair for four more months…lol).

Then, in September of 2020, I was finally done. I was done planning my life around when my hair would be colored, and never wanted to feel the itching and burning that I put my scalp through, each time I coated it in a new box of hair dye. I was finished with the hair loss, the chemicals, and the money spent. I no longer cared what people thought of me or what they would say, and I was suddenly angry that I had been scared of such a thing for so long. The notion that society has bestowed upon women that gray hair is old is complete bullshit. It’s a total lie.

In all honesty, I was surprised to find that the growing out process was not as bad as I had anticipated. I am one to fully commit, so I knew that once I started, that was it. No cold feet. The first four months in my eyes are the worst (but nothing a cute headband or braid can’t fix), but then I hit month 5, and it was exciting! I could not only see results, but feel the transformation from the inside. And, while for a while I had both good and bad reactions from both people I knew and complete strangers, after about 15 months the compliments started to roll in; especially from strangers.

I had started to inspire others, with just this one small act of facing my own insecurities and fears. This was a major accomplishment marker in me growing into the confident women that I am becoming, as well as being a role model for my daughters. I have no regrets, and I’ve never felt so free from the baggage of “gray hair will make you look old!”

So, I challenge you to be brave. Try a new skill, sign up for a class, wear something bold, or take that trip. Whatever you do, don’t let anyone hold you back—including yourself! Don’t let anyone say you can’t or try to discourage you. Step forward with no regrets and own that confidence!