A Reluctant Traveler

Outside of Galway, Ireland, with not a drop of rain in sight! (Well, at least not for an hour or two.)

I have a love-hate relationship with traveling. I love the destination part! But I hate the traveling part.

Typically, my anxiety and irrational thoughts start up to—but not limited to—two weeks ahead of my travel date. In my opinion, there’s nothing glamorous about travel, especially if you’re on a long haul flight—and if you are bringing your kids, forget about it…you are just doing the same job you do at home, with a bunch of extra stressors thrown your way! No looking at magazines on the plane or sleeping for you…at least until about age 10).

So why do I do it? Why do I allow myself to keep booking trips when I know full well that my travel anxiety will be knocking on my door, looking for a place to stay in my head, for the next two weeks?

Plain and simple, I have made a conscious decision to not let my fear and anxiety steal my joy from my life and the experience. I don’t let it take the excitement of my adventures away, or the beauty in creating memories with my family.

Though, keep in mind, I still face the never-ending internal struggle I always get when I’m in this situation: I just want to lay on the sofa with my dog, curl up under my weighted blanket, and binge my favorite sitcom show forever.

But, I push through anyways, with the help of my family, and keep putting myself out there time and time again.

So, I ensure that I put on my big girl pants at least 1-2 times a year, and get on that plane. (After taking maybe a pill or two).

This last time I was able to do a trip to Ireland, with just my husband. Believe it or not, this was our first big trip together in almost 23 years of marriage, because we never had a honeymoon! I booked it on whim (very uncharacteristic of my usual methodical ways). We had no plans, no itinerary… it was essentially a week on the open road.

It was liberating and very quiet at times (which I loved). And with that, despite all my anxiety, it ended up being all ok.

I even had my husband take the “scenic windy cliff photo” (like in every period piece movie, where the woman needs to contemplate her life and who she should marry)…(If only I had packed an 18th century dress for my big photo op).

So, I encourage you to challenge yourself and take small steps in facing your own fears and anxieties each day, too. (And I say small because if you overwhelm yourself with too much too soon, you will head straight to your safe space and not want to leave).

Small steps are good, and it’s important to validate yourself along the way. If you ever need extra encouragement, seek out a trusted family member or counselor. I know first hand that a good supportive “peanut gallery” is necessary to make those small steps grow into the leaps and bounds you are capable of, keep yourself moving forward on the path, and on the right track.